"I am slightly bound"
why? what does that mean anyway??
Thursday, May 10, 2007
Wednesday, May 02, 2007
Amsterdam ambivalence
I spent an extended weekend (Saturday to Monday) in Amsterdam/the Netherlands, for my long overdue trip to Amsterdam to check out the legendary red light district, smoke up, and celebrate Queen's Day with the Dutchies.
I come away bemused.
I find the the Netherlands a curious, charming country. Curious because there are aspects of their culture which seem truly unique, and also because of the contradictions inherent in the Dutch, both of which I sometimes struggle to understand. Maybe my reaction is due to the contemporaneous fact of me not knowing anything at all about the Netherlands and the Dutch way of life (bar the Netherlands' low altitude and the Dutch's liberal attitude) before this trip, and yet having a pre-conceived notion of Every(Dutch)man, from Dutch boy, given that I can only really claim to know one Dutch person, and evidently not very well at all, at that. And so, despite the many things that delighted me about Amsterdam, Holland, and the Dutch, I find that I have conflicting feelings about all.
On one hand, there are things I really like about the Dutch.
There's something very charming and disarming about the Dutch and their way of life. Their ability to enjoy the simple things in life—like sitting in the sun and chilling out on the roadside mini rooftop shelves (a short rooftop just a bit off the ground).
And there's something beautifully provincial about them... most potently symbolised, for me, by the ubiquitous bicycle. Everyone zips around on bicycles with their a little basket or rear wheel panniers or a plastic crate tied to the backseat with a cord. And it's a joy to watch young lovers sitting together on bikes (oh how the Ex waxed lyrical about that beautifully rustic and romantic experience in his home country! and of course, how fondly I remember my own experience sitting on the bicycle bar...), and the inventive ways the Dutch use the humble bicycle for transport—one man had a wooden cart installed in front of his bike, in which he sat his four adorable young children, while a fifth child sat in a child's seat at the back of the bicycle!
On Queen's Day, we also witnessed a very curious and I dare say highly unique phenomenon. In Vondelpark, where many Dutch families were gathered around having picnics, it seemed there was a child busking every two steps! Near the entrance were a bunch of young breakdancers, the youngest of which looked maybe 8 or 9 years old? Further in, there was this shy bespectacled pony-tailed girl playing the violin with a little hat on the ground at her feet, and literally two steps from her was another bespectacled boy performing on the keyboard with more monetary success. There was a full orange drum set with a young boy drummer with style and attitude who looked about 10 and likely to grow up to be a bit of a heartbreaker, accompanied by another boy on electric guitar, playing music for two other boys who took turns breakdancing on the sandy ground under the shade. At some point, one of the performers tried to persuade another tiny child (maybe 4 or 5 years of age?) to perform, but the little orange-clad boy was shy—he pouted, shook his head from side to side, then ran back to his mommy and flung his arms around her. At the end of that performance, another young girl came around with a little red pouch to collect contributions.
I've never seen anything like this before, this mass sending out of children to busk... I find it very very unusual. Not that I think there's anything wrong with it. In fact, on reflection, I think it's actually a good idea, because it's good for the children's development—they learn to be more daring, and entrepreneurial. But the phenomenon intrigued me... what kind of people would do that to their children? What does it say about the Dutch? That they are entrepreneurial? That they are family-oriented and very supportive? That they are a hardy people and want to teach their kids survival skills? Or is it a bit of everything and other traits that I cannot even begin to guess at? Although I don't know exactly what this says about the Dutch, what I know is that, I admire them for it, because I sense that the underlying characteristics would be things that I would find admirable.
Because I knew so little beforehand, I was surprised that most of (what I have seen of) the Netherlands is agricultural and seems very rural, where I can imagine that family values are still strong. And that the people seem to lead a wonderfully simple, almost rustic way of life, even in their capital Amsterdam.
Despite that, they are very open and liberal, almost decadent—allowing marijuana, being more accepting of gays/lesbians, having what some may see as very shocking attitudes towards sex and prostitution (aquarium-like display of prostitutes on Oudezijds Achterburgwal), and allowing seriously underage clubbing (some of the boys at the club we went to looked like they were about 15 or even younger!).
I get the sense that they are tolerant and permissive of others, but at the core they hold to their own values and are surprisingly conservative and traditional. In this respect, I feel an affinity for the Dutch, because that is my personal attitude and one of my more closely held philosophies as well.
On the other hand, I've never been more intensely "abused" or disturbed by strangers than in my 3 short days in Holland. My cousin and I got a surprising amount of unwanted attention—people jumping in front of us to "scare" us, hobos swaying up to us and muttering away, random drunkards (I assume they are drunk) making lewdish comments[1]. But most of all, someone threw a balled up piece of paper at me when I was asleep on the train from Amsterdam Centraal to Schiphol, which I suspect is this one crazy, unattractive attention-seeking girl who was dancing on the train. And I'm quite upset, confused and shaken by that—I don't know why she, or anyone would do that. I was sleeping the innocent (exhausted) sleep of babes, in my little seat, not even hurting a fly... *sniffs* And so, with this, and other Dutch experiences, I've concluded that the Dutch are an unpredictable lot. Although there is much that I like and admire of what I have seen of the Dutch, I'm deeply wary of embracing them.
As for Amsterdam itself, there's a part of me that loves Amsterdam. I fell in love with it at first sight, with all its canals, cobbled pathways, and bicycles, when I first visited briefly for work late last year. I'm totally a water girl—give me a body of water, and I'm a happy camper. And I love bicycles and cobblestones and oh the quaintness of it all captivated me! When I came back, I exclaimed to Dutch boy: What's wrong with you, why the hell are you in London? If I were you, I'll never leave Amsterdam!
Now, after 2 days (I spent a day in Keukenhof), I can see why he left—or why I at least would not want to live in Amsterdam. Don't get me wrong, I'm still endlessly charmed by this lovely capital with its small town intimacy. I love its tranquil shaded waterways, tall narrow houses with huge windows and doorsteps leading straight onto the street, the presence of flowers in almost every window—either grown in adorable little pots, or single blooms standing coolly in elegant vases, the haphazard morass of bicycle traffic, its quaint little markets, the Amsterdammers' (Dutch?) laid back, free-wheeling approach to life—chilling out and partying on canal boats, drinking beer in the streets to a deejay playing trance music by the roadside... And there's a part of me that deeply longs to fall into the city's charms.
The problem is in the statistics. When I heard that there were only 750,000 inhabitants in Amsterdam, huge alarm bells rang in my head—it's too small! The most densely populated city in Europe and I think the third most densely populated country in the world. I mean.. I left Singapore partly because I found it too small and claustrophobic. As for Amsterdam, after only 2 days, I felt almost local and was able to recognise most places or find my way around (at least the areas that I've been to), which is almost miraculous, given that I have an atrocious sense of direction. So I have a feeling that, with time, I would find Amsterdam stifling and find it impossible to breathe. It doesn't help that the Netherlands' obsessions with land reclamation and ports (okay, so I know it's not their fault to be landed with this geography, but at least I recognise that I'm a bit irrational on this point) reminds me too much of Singapore, and that is why, I am wary of falling in love with the Netherlands. Of claiming a small part of it as my spiritual home, just in case, I am proven wrong. Time (and experience) reveals the rust under the paintwork...
And so, I have conflicting feelings about Amsterdam. It's difficult to answer when people ask me: so what do you think of Amsterdam? Because I recognise that a large part of my euphoria probably comes from just being out of the office, travelling, soaking up liquid sunshine under blue skies. Hell, I even loved HK (with very heavy caveats and reams of footnotes)! Amsterdam is different from that though. Because you see, Amsterdam is unlike some places where there are always lots of things to do and see and do, where you can be in love with it and keep going back. To me, it is a far more intimate place, because Amsterdam itself is really small, and there's not that much to do. It's the pace of life and the atmosphere that I find enchanting. And even if you love it, there's no real reason for you to keep returning, not when there are so many other places in the world that you (I) haven't seen.
I think I would say this of Amsterdam (putting aside the Dutch people and the mixed experiences I have had): I feel bittersweet about it. Because it is a place that I think could actually be happy in (for a time) and could love and cherish in many ways, because it has beautiful qualities that I treasure, much like one would treasure the innocence of a baby. But that happiness would be transitory. It is too small for me to ever live there. It is an impossible love.
But I will probably go back again, one more time, for a weekend. I can visit the museums, which I missed in the rush of this trip. I can walk along more canals, sit in a café and chill out and watch life go by, and of course smoke-up or eat "space cake" in coffee shops... Doing what Amsterdam is ideal for: taking the time to enjoy the simple (or decadent) things in life.
Random notes:
[1] Admittedly none were as bad as my three very bad experiences in London—unless one of them actually said he was going to f*** our [rude word], which I am giving him the benefit of the doubt by assuming he did not say that—but then, I've been here for 6 years
[2] Other random things which puzzle me:
The Dutch, on average, are actually a remarkably good-looking people. Mostly tall as well. But there are still quite a few short Dutch people and unattractive ones, which is all the more tragic in a land of tall, lanky, attractive people. And I wonder about these people, especially the boys. What do the short men do?
[3] More about the space cake another time! It was a very strange experience... super extrasensory and very different from the last (only) time I smoked-up!
[4] Another thing I truly don't understand is this underage clubbing and compulsive drinking thing they have going on. Plus another thing I don't like about A'dam is how much people smoke! EVERYONE in the club smoked! I felt like I had smoked two whole cigarettes on my own from all the second hand smoke
[5] Lastly, two things to remember: the good-looking and cute (and funny) immigration guy when I was leaving, and the adorable flirty blond blue-grey eyed baby
I come away bemused.
I find the the Netherlands a curious, charming country. Curious because there are aspects of their culture which seem truly unique, and also because of the contradictions inherent in the Dutch, both of which I sometimes struggle to understand. Maybe my reaction is due to the contemporaneous fact of me not knowing anything at all about the Netherlands and the Dutch way of life (bar the Netherlands' low altitude and the Dutch's liberal attitude) before this trip, and yet having a pre-conceived notion of Every(Dutch)man, from Dutch boy, given that I can only really claim to know one Dutch person, and evidently not very well at all, at that. And so, despite the many things that delighted me about Amsterdam, Holland, and the Dutch, I find that I have conflicting feelings about all.
On one hand, there are things I really like about the Dutch.
There's something very charming and disarming about the Dutch and their way of life. Their ability to enjoy the simple things in life—like sitting in the sun and chilling out on the roadside mini rooftop shelves (a short rooftop just a bit off the ground).
And there's something beautifully provincial about them... most potently symbolised, for me, by the ubiquitous bicycle. Everyone zips around on bicycles with their a little basket or rear wheel panniers or a plastic crate tied to the backseat with a cord. And it's a joy to watch young lovers sitting together on bikes (oh how the Ex waxed lyrical about that beautifully rustic and romantic experience in his home country! and of course, how fondly I remember my own experience sitting on the bicycle bar...), and the inventive ways the Dutch use the humble bicycle for transport—one man had a wooden cart installed in front of his bike, in which he sat his four adorable young children, while a fifth child sat in a child's seat at the back of the bicycle!
On Queen's Day, we also witnessed a very curious and I dare say highly unique phenomenon. In Vondelpark, where many Dutch families were gathered around having picnics, it seemed there was a child busking every two steps! Near the entrance were a bunch of young breakdancers, the youngest of which looked maybe 8 or 9 years old? Further in, there was this shy bespectacled pony-tailed girl playing the violin with a little hat on the ground at her feet, and literally two steps from her was another bespectacled boy performing on the keyboard with more monetary success. There was a full orange drum set with a young boy drummer with style and attitude who looked about 10 and likely to grow up to be a bit of a heartbreaker, accompanied by another boy on electric guitar, playing music for two other boys who took turns breakdancing on the sandy ground under the shade. At some point, one of the performers tried to persuade another tiny child (maybe 4 or 5 years of age?) to perform, but the little orange-clad boy was shy—he pouted, shook his head from side to side, then ran back to his mommy and flung his arms around her. At the end of that performance, another young girl came around with a little red pouch to collect contributions.
I've never seen anything like this before, this mass sending out of children to busk... I find it very very unusual. Not that I think there's anything wrong with it. In fact, on reflection, I think it's actually a good idea, because it's good for the children's development—they learn to be more daring, and entrepreneurial. But the phenomenon intrigued me... what kind of people would do that to their children? What does it say about the Dutch? That they are entrepreneurial? That they are family-oriented and very supportive? That they are a hardy people and want to teach their kids survival skills? Or is it a bit of everything and other traits that I cannot even begin to guess at? Although I don't know exactly what this says about the Dutch, what I know is that, I admire them for it, because I sense that the underlying characteristics would be things that I would find admirable.
Because I knew so little beforehand, I was surprised that most of (what I have seen of) the Netherlands is agricultural and seems very rural, where I can imagine that family values are still strong. And that the people seem to lead a wonderfully simple, almost rustic way of life, even in their capital Amsterdam.
Despite that, they are very open and liberal, almost decadent—allowing marijuana, being more accepting of gays/lesbians, having what some may see as very shocking attitudes towards sex and prostitution (aquarium-like display of prostitutes on Oudezijds Achterburgwal), and allowing seriously underage clubbing (some of the boys at the club we went to looked like they were about 15 or even younger!).
I get the sense that they are tolerant and permissive of others, but at the core they hold to their own values and are surprisingly conservative and traditional. In this respect, I feel an affinity for the Dutch, because that is my personal attitude and one of my more closely held philosophies as well.
On the other hand, I've never been more intensely "abused" or disturbed by strangers than in my 3 short days in Holland. My cousin and I got a surprising amount of unwanted attention—people jumping in front of us to "scare" us, hobos swaying up to us and muttering away, random drunkards (I assume they are drunk) making lewdish comments[1]. But most of all, someone threw a balled up piece of paper at me when I was asleep on the train from Amsterdam Centraal to Schiphol, which I suspect is this one crazy, unattractive attention-seeking girl who was dancing on the train. And I'm quite upset, confused and shaken by that—I don't know why she, or anyone would do that. I was sleeping the innocent (exhausted) sleep of babes, in my little seat, not even hurting a fly... *sniffs* And so, with this, and other Dutch experiences, I've concluded that the Dutch are an unpredictable lot. Although there is much that I like and admire of what I have seen of the Dutch, I'm deeply wary of embracing them.
As for Amsterdam itself, there's a part of me that loves Amsterdam. I fell in love with it at first sight, with all its canals, cobbled pathways, and bicycles, when I first visited briefly for work late last year. I'm totally a water girl—give me a body of water, and I'm a happy camper. And I love bicycles and cobblestones and oh the quaintness of it all captivated me! When I came back, I exclaimed to Dutch boy: What's wrong with you, why the hell are you in London? If I were you, I'll never leave Amsterdam!
Now, after 2 days (I spent a day in Keukenhof), I can see why he left—or why I at least would not want to live in Amsterdam. Don't get me wrong, I'm still endlessly charmed by this lovely capital with its small town intimacy. I love its tranquil shaded waterways, tall narrow houses with huge windows and doorsteps leading straight onto the street, the presence of flowers in almost every window—either grown in adorable little pots, or single blooms standing coolly in elegant vases, the haphazard morass of bicycle traffic, its quaint little markets, the Amsterdammers' (Dutch?) laid back, free-wheeling approach to life—chilling out and partying on canal boats, drinking beer in the streets to a deejay playing trance music by the roadside... And there's a part of me that deeply longs to fall into the city's charms.
The problem is in the statistics. When I heard that there were only 750,000 inhabitants in Amsterdam, huge alarm bells rang in my head—it's too small! The most densely populated city in Europe and I think the third most densely populated country in the world. I mean.. I left Singapore partly because I found it too small and claustrophobic. As for Amsterdam, after only 2 days, I felt almost local and was able to recognise most places or find my way around (at least the areas that I've been to), which is almost miraculous, given that I have an atrocious sense of direction. So I have a feeling that, with time, I would find Amsterdam stifling and find it impossible to breathe. It doesn't help that the Netherlands' obsessions with land reclamation and ports (okay, so I know it's not their fault to be landed with this geography, but at least I recognise that I'm a bit irrational on this point) reminds me too much of Singapore, and that is why, I am wary of falling in love with the Netherlands. Of claiming a small part of it as my spiritual home, just in case, I am proven wrong. Time (and experience) reveals the rust under the paintwork...
And so, I have conflicting feelings about Amsterdam. It's difficult to answer when people ask me: so what do you think of Amsterdam? Because I recognise that a large part of my euphoria probably comes from just being out of the office, travelling, soaking up liquid sunshine under blue skies. Hell, I even loved HK (with very heavy caveats and reams of footnotes)! Amsterdam is different from that though. Because you see, Amsterdam is unlike some places where there are always lots of things to do and see and do, where you can be in love with it and keep going back. To me, it is a far more intimate place, because Amsterdam itself is really small, and there's not that much to do. It's the pace of life and the atmosphere that I find enchanting. And even if you love it, there's no real reason for you to keep returning, not when there are so many other places in the world that you (I) haven't seen.
I think I would say this of Amsterdam (putting aside the Dutch people and the mixed experiences I have had): I feel bittersweet about it. Because it is a place that I think could actually be happy in (for a time) and could love and cherish in many ways, because it has beautiful qualities that I treasure, much like one would treasure the innocence of a baby. But that happiness would be transitory. It is too small for me to ever live there. It is an impossible love.
But I will probably go back again, one more time, for a weekend. I can visit the museums, which I missed in the rush of this trip. I can walk along more canals, sit in a café and chill out and watch life go by, and of course smoke-up or eat "space cake" in coffee shops... Doing what Amsterdam is ideal for: taking the time to enjoy the simple (or decadent) things in life.
Random notes:
[1] Admittedly none were as bad as my three very bad experiences in London—unless one of them actually said he was going to f*** our [rude word], which I am giving him the benefit of the doubt by assuming he did not say that—but then, I've been here for 6 years
[2] Other random things which puzzle me:
The Dutch, on average, are actually a remarkably good-looking people. Mostly tall as well. But there are still quite a few short Dutch people and unattractive ones, which is all the more tragic in a land of tall, lanky, attractive people. And I wonder about these people, especially the boys. What do the short men do?
[3] More about the space cake another time! It was a very strange experience... super extrasensory and very different from the last (only) time I smoked-up!
[4] Another thing I truly don't understand is this underage clubbing and compulsive drinking thing they have going on. Plus another thing I don't like about A'dam is how much people smoke! EVERYONE in the club smoked! I felt like I had smoked two whole cigarettes on my own from all the second hand smoke
[5] Lastly, two things to remember: the good-looking and cute (and funny) immigration guy when I was leaving, and the adorable flirty blond blue-grey eyed baby
